Cupcakes versus Muffins
by Punch A Fish In The Face
Summary: Pinkie Pie likes cupcakes. Derpy Hooves likes muffins. Both understatements. Applejack might go a tiny bit insane listening to their arguments, so she humors them and offers a compromise. But, this just might cause more problems than it solves.


A/N  
This is a really short plot bunny. I fell in love with Derpy- well, I already liked her, but I checked the net for art of her, and saw angsty pictures on DeviantART, and my attention was drawn to muffins. So, I got two ideas for stories: one was a sad and angsty story (The Doctor disappears, Dinky is taken away by CPS, and Derpy fights to get her daughter back by proving she can take care of her without the Doctor) and one was a lighthearted muffin-related story.  
This is the happy one. So, Derpy and Pinkie Pie get in a fight over whether Muffins are better than Cupcakes (no, not THAT Cupcakes!). It's all light-hearted. Please enjoy!  
End A/N

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**ApplejackPOV**

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"Muffins!" the wall-eyed Pegasus cried, leaning on the counter at Sugarcube Corner.

"Cupcakes!" the pink earth pony yelled back, leaning on the same counter full of cakes and various other baked goods.

"No, Muffins!"

"Nuh-uh, Cupcakes!"

"_I said Muffins are better!"_

"_No, Cupcakes are a bajillion times better!"_

I seriously have to stop this, and now. They've been arguin' for five minutes now, and they're startin' a scene. I cleared my throat, hopin' they'd hear me, but they didn't, and continued with this fight of theirs. It's gratin' on my nerves, so I put my hoof in my mouth and whistled real loud-like, just so I could get myself heard.

That got their attention.

"Hi, Applejack!" Pinkie turned to me after I whistled. "I didn't see you there. What are you getting?"

"Well, I was just gonna buy a couple o' cupcakes for Apple Bloom's sleepover with her friends in their treehouse, but that can wait a few minutes. Is there a problem between you and-" I turned my head to greet Derpy. We exchanged 'hello's, and I focused back on Pinkie. I continued, "Your friend here?"

"Nope," she nodded. "No problems here! We're just having a pleasant discussion about how cupcakes are better than muffins." Derpy coughed. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"I guess it would depend on the time of day. Muffins, you eat at breakfast, and you eat cupcakes after supper or at birthday parties, right? Plus, muffins are usually full o' fruit or spices or both, while cupcakes are pure cake or swirls with frosting on top. Ye can't really compare the two."

Suddenly, Pinkie and Derpy started to giggle. Why? Is it something I said?

"Oh Applejack, you poor naïve soul." Miss Hooves put her hoof on my shoulder. "What do you bake them both in?"

"Umm… a muffin tin." Pinkie pulled one out of the counter- wait, how'd she, where'd she- oh, whatever. I guess they have one thing in common. She set the tin on the counter surface.

"And Applejack, don't you put paper in the holes before dropping the batter in?"

"Umm… I guess so." She's kinda right. I've made apple-cinnamon muffins before, and apple-cinnamon cupcakes, and now that I think of it, I don't remember any difference while makin' 'em.

"Plus," Pinkie Pie continued. "You can have sweet or savory muffins, and sweet or savory cupcakes. If you take a look at this chart here- thanks, Derpy." I look to my left and she's holdin' a big chart with some pictures on it. Where did she…?

The grey Pegasus was holding a pointer to the first picture, which was of some muffins. Pinkie provided commentary for the presentation. "This is a muffin. Normally, muffins have some kind of fruit. There's a banana-nut one, blueberry, and a cornbread muffin." _Does corn count as a fruit…?_ "But next to them, are some that are a bit unconventional, and some even that are my creation. A chocolate muffin- with no frosting,"

Derpy interrupted her. "You don't need _more_ chocolate frosting if the cake's already chocolate! That's like…" she looked up, and her right eye spun around. It's a bit… unnerving. Dangit, Twilight and her big words… Derpy cut my thoughts off by yelling "That's too much chocolate!"

Pinkie facehoofed. "There's no such thing as _too much chocolate_!" she shouted. "Anyways, chocolate isn't a fruit. Well, it comes from a bean, which is a plant, and fruits are plants…" she took a marker out of her hair- don't ask me- and scribbled that one out. "Bottom line is, muffins don't have icing. I rest my case."

"My turn!" Derpy cried. She moved her pointer to the second picture, which were some cupcakes. "Okay, here are some cupcakes. Usually, they're made of cake. There's chocolate, and vanilla, and yellow, and red velvet, and carrot, and…" she faltered- Dangit, Twilight!- at my stare…

"Umm… okay, there's a bunch of cakes used in cupcakes. And you can put on different icing, like chocolate, or vanilla, or cream cheese, or… um… anyways, there's too many different combinations. It's too confusing! And when you lick off all the frosting, it's all flat and blechy. Muffins get all puffy at the top, and they're so delicious! _I_ rest _MY_ case."

"So," Pinkie started to say. Then, simul- I mean, at the same time- they both said, "So which do YOU think is better?"

I looked back and forth between the two. On the one hoof, Pinkie's got a point, and I like frosting. On the other hoof, Miss Hooves has got a point, and I like muffin tops. Hmm… this is a hard choice…

Wait! I've made my decision!

"How about, you bake muffins, then cut the tops off, then put frosting on the bottom half, then put the muffin tops back on the top?"

Pinkie's jaw was hangin' open, and her eyes were wide. Derpy… had the same expression on her face, only, while her left eye focused on me, her right eye drifted off to the side a bit. Uh oh… Maybe that was a bit _too_- oh, nope, they're blinkin'. They're fine.

"That…" Pinkie said.

"Sounds…" Derpy said.

"Awesome!" the pony standin' behind me yelled. Er, Dragon, it was Spike. "That's a great idea, Applejack! Hey Pinkie Pie, can you make that?"

The pony standing behind him agreed, asking "If you do, can you make it a regular here? That sounds delicious!" and the other ponies around the shop started clamoring- uh, gathering- uh, coming up here by the counter, asking the same thing.

Pinkie and Derpy exchanged glances- er, looked at each other, then smiled.

"Yes, everypony!" Pinkie exclaimed- er, said- to the crowd. "I'm making my first batch right now! Fillies and Gentlecolts, starting in about an hour, I will present Ponyville's very first…" she stopped, and started thinking about something. I moved out of the way of the crowd- how did so many ponies get in here, anyway? It was almost empty when I came in here…

Then, Derpy and Pinkie yelled two different things at the same time.

"Mupcakes!"

"Cuffins!"

They looked at each other in shock, gasping.

"Mupcakes!"

"Cuffins!"

"No, Mupcakes!"

"Nuh-uh, Cuffins!"

"_I said Mupcakes are better!"_

"_Nuh-uh, Cuffins are a bajillion times better!"_

I sighed… Looks like the cupcake muffins will have to wait…

/x/x/x/

A/N  
So, how is it? Are Pinkie, Derpy, and AJ in-character? Et cetera. I've got no internet at the moment, so I wrote this on late Friday night. I guess I'll hear from you readers whenever.  
End A/N


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